Wendy Gladney
Upland, CA — Recently my husband and I were having a thoughtful conversation about the celebration of America’s 250th Anniversary. Like millions of Americans, we watched the specials on television, reflected on historical accounts that aired on PBS and despite all our imperfections and injustices we are both proud Americans. My husband even calls me a patriot because I do love our country. Although, right now, I am not sure if I feel like Sistah Soulja and reminiscent of the Black Power Movement or Mother Teresa who tried to spread God’s love peacefully to all mankind. There definitely can be a tug and pull at our emotions and yet most people are grateful for the freedoms and opportunities we have here in America. I have concluded that as good as America is, we still have a way to go before we are truly united as a people or country, and I am willing to do my part in the healing and sharing of the truth.
Yes, I am proud to be an American. But if I am honest, I also carry another feeling. As a biracial woman, celebrating America’s birthday is rarely simple. It is layered, emotional, and personal.
My story is America’s story. I have shared before that on my mother’s side of the family, my ancestors left Germany with faith, determination, and hope for a better future. They crossed an ocean believing that America offered possibilities they could not find elsewhere. However, on my father’s side, my family did not come seeking opportunity. Their roots are planted in the painful soil of slavery. My paternal great-grandfather, William “Buck” Reed, was born into slavery and lived long enough to experience freedom. That remarkable journey from bondage to liberty is not just American history. It is my family history. Both sides of my family helped build this nation.
Too often our national conversations ask us to choose one version of America over another.
Either America is presented as flawless, or she is portrayed as fundamentally broken. I believe the truth is more complicated. History is not served well by selective memory. When we erase painful chapters, we lose important lessons. When we erase remarkable achievements, we lose reasons for hope. History deserves honesty and so does the people who lived it. There are moments when I wonder whether I feel more like Sister Souljah or Mother Teresa as I reflect on the way some try to erase what is important to not only some but is necessary for all. One part of me wants to stand firmly against injustice, challenge distorted narratives, and insist that the contributions of Black Americans, and so many others whose stories have been overlooked, receive the recognition they deserve. The other part of me longs to build bridges, extend grace, encourage healing, and remind people that anger alone has never healed a nation. Perhaps the truth is that both are necessary.
What life is teaching me is justice without compassion can become bitterness and compassion without justice can become silence. Neither one, standing alone, is enough. As The Purpose Partner, I often speak about Strategic Grace and how it is not weakness, but rather it is choosing to remain grounded when our emotions begin to run high. It is refusing to surrender your convictions while also refusing to surrender your humanity. It is speaking truth without abandoning love. That may be one of the greatest challenges facing America today. We have become increasingly skilled at talking about one another and less willing to talk with one another. We often assume motives before hearing stories. We rush to defend our own experiences while dismissing someone else’s. Yet every family has a story. Mine simply happens to include both sides of one of America’s greatest contradictions. That is the America I know. Not perfect.
Not finished. Still becoming.
As we move beyond the Fourth of July celebrations and continue reflecting on America’s 250th anniversary, perhaps our greatest gift to future generations is not pretending the past was better than it was for some but rather let us just tell the whole truth. And maybe America does not have to wrestle with feelings and emotions reflective of Sister Souljah or Mother Teresa but rather embrace the willingness to pursue justice with courage, extend grace with humility, preserve history with honesty, and keep believing that tomorrow can be better than yesterday. This is important to me for the future generations of not only my family but for yours as well.
Wendy is the Purpose Partner helping women go from Crossroads to Confidence, from Shaken to Unshakable, from Purpose to Power. To learn more visit WendyGladney.com and ForgivingForLiving.org.
